56th and still working. I know, it’s a miracle.

Home-made Hollandaise, sunshine and champers at dawn? Yep, it must be my birthday. And so it was on the 5th July that the clan gathered to witness another dual celebration with me and Barry, combining all good things culinary with the odd bit of ‘old money’ neighbour baiting in good ole’ Forest Row, with two old blokes in Subarus. Anne-Marie was happily quoted as saying ‘the only way I’m ever going in that is if I have a bag over my head’, and with that, the day was off to a flyer!


Quite a hard start to the saturday (you’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties)though, as my beautiful new RL birthday shirt from my favourite girl, (cheers mother) (….’surely that can’t be his can it?.’ I heard you, don’t deny it…..)came close to getting pebble-dashed with a load of fresh custard to go on the salmon.  Grey pullover saved the day, and then an apron went on top to give me that nice ‘I own a bacon roll cafe-type‘ look.

Once I’d completely mis-judged the mix of Lemonade to Pimms ratio, and Anna had started off too early on the good stuff, I had a feeling it was going to be a long, but brilliant day, and at the end of Saturday night’s drab football match between Holland and Costa Rica finally ended, I was knackered. I’d waited till the end, but Barry and my mum had gone early, unable to watch any more football.

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All were on great form, I lost another £400 to Max as his magic show hit new heights (nice one Sir) and I returned to Essex at 1pm, just as the British Grand Prix started and then, 10 seconds later,  stopped for an hour when they decided to do some impromptu rallycross, which doesn’t do for F1 cars. And after seeing Mark Cavendish dislocate his shoulder on the Tour de Harrogate (France), I suddenly realised it wouldn’t be too long before I might see the hideous visage of a work colleague with his legs greased up, sitting in front of his house with a crate of cider waiting for the cyclists to come past his front door and possibly do him in for good. Well , you never know, stranger things have happened  and it ‘s been that sort of a weekend.

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Auditions begin for Sussex branch of BGTalent


This weeks contestants for the Sussex audition of Britains Got (chav) Talent were put through their paces by judge and birthday boy NDH on saturday, using the Subaru as the stage, and sponsored, quite naturally, by Auto Glym, a company which doesn’t produce hair wax, but does produce car wax, as Sophie(pictured above) was quite distraught to find out when she won first prize in the category ‘Most Likely Look Inside A Chav’s Car‘. 2nd prize went to Maximillian (parents had a sense of humour with that one) who thought he’d steal a victory by magically hiding an Ace of Spades inside the near side tyre, but on seeing the competition was not surprised he didn’t take the win.

Looking not unlike a fat Boris Becker, Noel said he was pleased to have hosted the Sussex event, and hoped that it may occur on a yearly basis, if the neighbours allow it. Which, after some of the looks we got today on arrival, is not likely.


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56 – are you mad – I’m only just starting!

Well it’s sad to say it but saturday is indeed my 56th birthday. Some majorly great stuff has happened along the way, and some very important things are to follow; the most important moments of my life I believe. I hope that, as my cousin Pete says about me, ‘If anybody’s gonna do it in this family, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was you‘. Let’s hope that proves correct in the next, most exciting chapter of my life.

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Wheel meet again

Finally got the new 18′ Oz Prodrive wheels on WRX – the drive is 1 million times better as I thought it would be so very happy now. IMAG0203 IMAG0205

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Scooby-two begins to get some ‘stick’

Bonnet decal offIt has to be done. Subaru. Essex. Rally transfers. Polo shirt with ‘The Final Gathering’ plastered all over it. Yes friends, Scooby Two is going to get stuck-up.

Don’t say you’re surprised. I just hope I don’t end up under a motorway support after it’s over.

To begin with I’ve started unobtrusively light, just to test the water, and so far none of the locals have brand me a ‘pill**ck’ or a ‘lightweight’, mind you, it takes all your courage to go out after dark here so at least with Phil going to Bury I won’t be having to make any late night dashes to the train stain to mix with the hoodies frequently loitering the streets round train stations up here. And they’re just the 7 year olds.

My first round of ‘It’s A Stick-UP’, a sort of ‘Jeux sans Frontiers’ for people like me apparently having what’s laughingly called a ‘mid-life crisis’ (mid-life, god that was years ago), involved Mr Hogg and some bumper and hood scoop decals which looked like we’d made a good start. With the delivery of four rolls of massive new rally decals though, I was now in the pro-wrap game, and this would undoubtedly require some form of concentration on my part, so I started off very conservatively. I decided that my new rear spoiler would be the target for my first stick-up, and this is the result. I don’t know if I like it or not, but my graphics expert says it’s ok.

See what you think. I'm not sure but then what do I know.

See what you think. I’m not sure but then what do I know.

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